Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
