i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Vodka?
Forever.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
