my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
