Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
