11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
