His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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