Are we in a gay sports bar?
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
