Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
How external is "for external use only"?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
