I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
