you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
