I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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