I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
