he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
