he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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