Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize