Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Randomize
