I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
