ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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