remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Terrible idea I love it
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
