you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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