before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize