Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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