i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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