Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
