Pregnant stripper...not hot.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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