remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
