Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
