ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Randomize
