no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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