Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
