Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
