Taylor Swift is so right about you.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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