Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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