well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
