I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
