I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
There's always time for handjobs
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
