cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
you made out with another girl for some wings
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