Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
