I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
He had one of those small greek statue penises
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Let's paint friendship bongs
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
