apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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