i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
you had me at cake vodka
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize