upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
