I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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