Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
