I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I'm passing your future prison.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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