I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
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