What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
