So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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