And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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