i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
