..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
