When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize