So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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