I don't think brook has ever known best
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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