I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Randomize
