Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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