my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
