bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Randomize
