Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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