I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
My pussy is not your playground.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
