Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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