This dress was meant to end up on your floor
vagina is talking i cant
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
