Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Randomize
