According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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