Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
