remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
