apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
