are you still at the devil's house?
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Life is so much better after having sex.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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