Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Randomize
