you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Drake has all the answers
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
